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Beat this boys….

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It has been said that there is no better place to voice your opinions than on the PA. You have the power to mock, create mobs, and ultimately become the loudest advocate for your side. Here is a collection of some of my favorite stadium announcements:“Will Mr Darling go back home to Cambridge to see his wife go into labour. Thank you.”
Stafford Rangers v Cambridge United.

“A message for the owner of car registration —–. Your windows are wide open in the car park. It’s a Rover, so it won’t get stolen, but you had better return to it.”
Plymouth Argyle v Coventry.

“Substitution for West Germany…”
Stadium announcer at Croke Park for the Ireland v Germany match, not realising reunification had taken place.

“Could the owner of a Vauxhall Astra, registration number P914…., please return to their vehicle immediately, as it is rolling unacompanied.”
Heard at Oxford v Torquay.

Will the owner of a horse attached to a rag and bone cart in the visitors’ car park return to his vehicle immediately
Cardiff City PA announcer Ali Yassin welcomes West Ham to Ninian Park.

Chris Waddle: “I would like to see Bentley brought on for the last 20 minutes.”
Mike Ingham: “12 minutes left here at Wembley…”
Radio 5live coverage of England v Israel.

“Not what Northern Ireland wanted. Nigel Worthington had targeted at least four points from this match.”
No wonder Northern Ireland struggled in Latvia when set a task like that! (Andy Croft, England).

“Good name for Scrabble.”
Mark Lawrenson, commenting on Israel’s left back, Yoav Ziv. (Pete Stevens, England).

 

“Geremi has 17 brothers and sisters, he’s never had so much room.”
Sky Sports commentator on the amount of space Chelsea’s Geremi was allowed in the Nottingham Forest FA Cup tie.

And how Diego Forlan missed, only a Manchester United fan will be able to tell you.
Commentator during the Villarreal-Arsenal match.

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Mourinho’s Destiny

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Fuck you Sam Allardyce, you fucking bitch. A few weeks back you are criticizing Rafa Benitez for prioritizing the Champions League; essentially a response to his complaint about always having a noon fixture after a midweek Champions League game. Now, you are complaining about players being tired from competing in more than one competition, and you even talk about how well you do against teams that are tired from playing in the Champions League. You deserve to be stuck at a shit club you fucking provincial peasant.

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With the bitter taste of humiliation still lingering in the mouth of England, I believe it is time for us to move on and reminisce about finer days.  Why it is hard to recall look back in history and not recall a moment when the Germans got a good throttling at the hands of the allies.  There’s WWI, WWII, the ’66 final, and of course the major motion picture ‘Victory’.  In more recent history one has to celebrate a diplomatic victory with Boris Johnson’s efforts in this testimonial.

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Prior to what will undoubtedly be a poor performance from the England national team, here are the highlights from the best England performance in recent memory. Interesting to note that all the England goals are scored by Liverpool players. Crouchy for a hat-trick, then.

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In the spirit of things I thought I might be able to get my agent to pull a few strings and get me into Emirates for a

Mr. John,

I am eagerly awaiting information on your end for the PSV Eindhoven trail on September 25th. I can tell you I am extremely excited about the possibility of making the first team. Alex has been in my eye ever since Arsenal got knocked out of the Champions League last season. I am a great supporter of Arsenal and was wondering if you had any connections there? Is there a possibility I could get a trial with Wenger? Some of my friends refer to me as the “Sol of Abermarle County”. I am in constant training and will be ready on your advice.

Sincerely,

Flaming

Unfortunately our friend Mr. John could not pull the right strings at the puppeteers dance, leaving me with about as much choice as Gabriel.

Hello FlamingWok66

How are you doing?Below is the Agency Agreement Form..I will liuke you to print it,fill it and scan it and send it to my email as soon as possible so i can start the processing….

Right now i don;t have any offer from Arsenal..I will like you to yake the offer from PSV Eindhoven Football Club…

I will like you to train very hard…

I will like you to call me on +2348050355768 so i can explain more to you…

Hoping to hear from you soon…

Thanks

Mr John

My Legal adviser has warned me that it is best not to sign the contracts due to the suspicious nature of the creased paper and the $390 fee that is supposed to be a managers fee.   Contract negotiations are ongoing at this point.

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