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Archive for July, 2007

Monday morning, three clubs–Newcastle United, Portsmouth, and Glasgow Rangers–were raided by City of London police as part of an investigation into corruption in football. Details are hard to come by, but thanks to some sort of email snafu, I have been accidentally sent a list of the next clubs to be raided.

Sheffield United – Treason

As the above video proves without a shadow of a doubt, Sheffield United is Hitler’s favorite team. Hitler sucks (so does Sheffield United). Even though he’s been dead for 60 years, I’m pretty sure he’s up to something. The police seem to think so too.

Liverpool – Illegal Immigration

As every red-blooded American knows, there is no difference between Spainiards and Mexicans. Liverpool has a shitload of Mexicans on their team. Every Mexican dreams of sneaking into America and mooching off of the hard-working American taxpayer. Thus, Liverpool’s stockpiling of Mexicans must be related to some sort of international Mexican smuggling syndicate.

Arsenal – 419 Scamming

As far as I know, Arsenal does not have any Nigerians on their team. The police investigators are convinced, though, that with all the young African talent that comes through Arsenal they are bound to know something about the 419 scams. I would say more but the son of a Nigerian diplomat needs my help getting his father’s $150 million fortune out of the country.

Manchester United – Sodomy

A picture is worth a thousand words.

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There is no better way to inaugurate the new, more mature, WWFU than by having the meanest bastard to ever play the game weigh in on something, in this case David Beckham. In the Guardian Sport blog Vinnie talks about Beckham’s impact as a celebrity, Patrick Swayze being a cinema legend, and playing tennis with Claudia Schiffer and Pete Sampras. It’s a pretty interesting read.

Also, no Vinnie Jones post would be complete without his finest moment on the silver screen.

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Online Dating

According to some sort of algorithim that gives blogs a MPAA style rating, the WWFU is rated PG. When was the last time you saw a PG rated movie? I think the last one I saw was Night at the Museum, and I only saw it because it was New Year’s Day and I was so hungover that the mere thought of an adult situation made me sick(er) to my stomach. Fear not, though; from now on we will be making a concerted effort to garner ourselves at least a PG-13.

Anal Fisting.

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