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Archive for April, 2007

The first leg went about as poorly as possible for me; a Manc win coupled with a Liverpool loss was the last thing I wanted to happen. Luckily nothing is officially decided until this time next week, and both ties hang in the balance.

Wimpering Puppy?: Tuesday’s 3-2 Manchester United victory over AC Milan was the type of back and forth, free-flowing game that us ignorant Yanks wish could happen all the time. I had predicted before the game that either Kaka or Ronaldo would decide the outcome, but I had neglected to take into account Wayne Rooney’s awakening from his 3 year European slumber. Kaka was brilliant, but Ronaldo was surprisingly quiet. Even though he did get the opener, Ronaldo’s goal was down more to Dida’s increasingly regular ineptitude rather than anything brilliant on Ronaldo’s part. My man of the match has to go to whoever it was that caused Gennaro Gattuso to leave the game injured. You could palpably see the balance of power in the match shift the moment he left the game. The “Snarling Dog” will need to get himself back if Milan are to go through to the final.

Twins 2: Starring Peter Crouch and Sean Wright-Phillips: That little blurb has nothing to do with the game, I just thought it was some amusing imagery. I don’t really have much to say about this game; Chelsea deserved 1-0, as they looked more threatening on the day, but Liverpool can take heart from the fact that they dominated possession in the second half, and that the last time these two teams met at Anfield the result was 2-0 in favor of the Reds. My favorite moment of the match came towards the end when Daniel Agger got up in Didier Drogba’s face and made the universal symbol for crybaby for a good 30 seconds straight.

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I took some time today to look at our blog stats, and was dismayed to see that the search engine term that was directing the most people to this site was some variation of “anti-liverpool chant.” Not wanting to disappoint our legion of fans, I will offer those United fans who are looking (since everyone knows that Chelsea “fans” don’t chant) a fewone suggestions.

  1. Sung to the tune of “She’ll Be Comin’ Round the Mountain”:
    Fergie became Sir for winning one,
    Fergie became Sir for winning one,
    Paisley won himself three,
    but he’s still no Fergie,
    Oh Fergie became Sir for winning one (European Cup)!

As for the person who came here after searching for “sexual intercourse positions,” I recommend the bobsled (note: not for the faint of heart).
Sorry for only coming up with one song, but I spent too much time trying to fit lyrics to the tune of What a Fool Believes by the Doobie Brothers. Suggestions are welcome in the comments.

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AC Milan excepted, none of the semifinalists come into this week’s games in a rich vein of form. Milan is tricky because much of their recent success is due to the resurgance of Ronaldo (the original), who is cup-tied. This being the case, both of these ties could go either way.

Manchester United v. AC Milan: There has been quite a fuss made in the media about how this is a match-up between the speed of United and the experience (i.e., lack of speed) of Milan. This is a bit of a red herring, as the average age of Milan’s probable squad is still under 30, and United are no spring chickens themselves. In fact, judging by some of the names set to play (Scholes, Giggs, Maldini, Nesta) it would not be a stretch to think it was 1997. Do not be afraid to bust out some old Spice Girls hits while you watch the game.

Prediction: Kaka and Cristiano Ronaldo will determine the game. Whoever shines brighter’s team will take this leg.

Liverpool v. Chelsea: The two legs of this semifinal will be the 13th and 14th time that these two clubs have met in the past 3 years. A lot of talk is coming from the Chelsea camp that this is the chance for revenge after Luis Garcia’s “phantom goal” at this stage in the competition two years ago. What Maureen and Co. neglect to mention is that had the goal not stood then Petr Cech would have been sent off and Liverpool awarded a penalty. Take it from the referee of that game, Lubos Michel, who told Sunday People

I believe Chelsea would have preferred the goal to count rather than face a penalty with just ten men for the rest of the game. If my assistant referee had not signalled a goal, I would have given a penalty and sent off goalkeeper Petr Cech.

That being said, I get the feeling that Chelsea are due for a win.

Prediction: Eamon Dunphy will not only flog the dead horse of the phantom goal, but he will mount it and perform acts so vile that only the most depraved mind can comprehend them. Then his head will explode.

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Watford officially became the first team relegated from the Premier League this season after a tepid draw with Manchester City. One always has to feel a bit sorry for the fans of a relegated team, although it’s not as if Watford fans couldn’t see this coming. I tried to find some interesting facts to share about Watford before they leave the Premier League spotlight, but they were few and far between. Here are the ones I could come up with:

  • Elton John once (perhaps still) owned the club and is now honoray Life President
  • Former England manager Graham Taylor has managed the club twice
  • Former players include John Barnes and David James

I can’t say I’ll miss Watford, as they are infuriatingly on FSC every weekend, but the league will surely miss their bright yellow unis.

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I don’t know how I didn’t know this before, but Cristiano Ronaldo was named after his father’s favorite actor, who happened to be Ronald Reagan. I don’t know if this makes me like him more or less; more because the Gipper kicks ass, but less because he kicks ass at Presidenting, not acting.

Anyway, I think this clip tells a part of the story of Reagan’s presidency. The woman represents the USSR, with Reagan clearly bitch-slapping her/it. John Cassavetes represents John Hinckley, who takes a shot at the Gipper but ultimately does not take him out. I can only assume that Jodie Foster appears at some other point in this movie; she is not in the clip, however.

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Equals? Hardly!!!

Andy,

I’ve tallied the posts and it appears we have both poseted an equal number of times – this one should tip the balance in my favor, unless my algebra is completely off.

More importantly….

MANCHESTER UNITED 7 – roma 1

Biggest European win for UTD since 1968. Eat it!

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EvdS: “Wat neukt het was dat?”

RF: “Oy mate, you just been merked.”

EvdS: “Neukend vertraagt”

RF: “F- this, I’m gonna call Lampard and go roast some bitches.”

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